Why Can't I?
by Dead Connection
Summary: Six years after the war Ron is still trying to work up the courage to make something of his and Hermione's first kiss back when they were seventeen. The only problem? Someone has already beaten him to it.
1. Chapter 1

_Before you take that leap you best think of what you're doing Hermione Granger._

The thought lingered in her mind for several seconds as she gazed at the shimmering diamond in Harry James Potter's hand. She knew what a big step this would be, what an honest to god big step this would be in her decidedly short life. What had happened to so much of that common sense she used to be so proud of?

He smiled.

She could _swear_ she heard angels singing somewhere in the back of the restaurant. Here she was, sitting in front of the most beautiful and sweet boy she had ever met in her whole life and he was asking to marry her. The only problem was that Miss Granger wasn't so sure she _wanted_ to marry him. Harry's smile faltered as her silence lengthened to become more than just "slightly uncomfortable". Oh no, were people istaringi now? Yes, of course they'd be. Here was The Boy Who Lived offering the world to a fool who didn't particularly want it.

"Hermione? Are you all right? Maybe I should-" She held up a small, careworn hand that sported barely concealed scars from battles she could no longer remember. Slowly Hermione flashed him her most award winning smile, but it never quite reached her eyes.

"Oh Harry, of course...of course I'll marry you!" He beamed, and it was the most amazing thing she had ever seen in her entire life. Maybe it was worth throwing her entire life away to make this boy in front of her happy enough to smile like that. Sometimes she missed the old Hermione, the Hermione who would have said things like:

"Harry it would never work out! You're my best friend!"

Or

"I love you so much but you know this wouldn't be good for either of us!"

Maybe the _Old Hermione_ would have come up with a clever excuse to ease some of the pain when the real reason she didn't want to marry him was very simple: She didn't love him _like that._ She had tried, no one could say she hadn't tried. Hermione was sure she had loved him at one point, or maybe she had just confused exactly how she loved him. Either way it was too late now and she was engaged. What would mother think? What would her dress look like? What color would the bridesmaids wear? Oh, she wasn't ready for this.

People were congratulating him now, _What a fine catch Harry!, I always knew you two would end up together, Good for you, Harry!_. She smiled when people turned to her and hugged her with tears of joy streaming down their faces. Finally things were getting back to normal for them, finally they could celebrate something other than the death of a long hated foe. Hermione felt herself drifting away from the scene, drifting away from everything until it all became one long blur filled with other people's excited faces.

What had she done?

"She's getting...MARRIED!?"

There weren't many things in Ron's life that caused him to become seriously, uncontrollably furious. Unfortunately, the only person who had ever seemed to cause these feelings inside him was now getting married to his best friend. He felt his world turn red, then it changed to a dull grey. She...she was getting married...married to Harry Potter. Maybe if he set the Daily Prophet down, closed his eyes and took three deep breaths everything would change and it would prove to be nothing more then a horrific hallucination.

He fell backwards into his favorite chair, one worn from use by the generations of Weasley men that had come before him. Gently he placed a hand over his eyes, breathing deeply each time he did so, telling himself that everything that had happened had been far from real, that his best friends weren't, in fact, getting married in three months time. Silly thing really, why on earth would she get married anyway, she wasn't a girl she was...well..._Hermione_. Bushy-haired, know-it-all, miss perfect, brown eyed Hermione.

Who was he kidding, of _course_ she was a girl. If she wasn't his night time fantasies of snogging in a broom closet with her were far from normal. It was okay though, she was too smart to marry the first guy that asked, let alone her best friend. Sure he had been told they were going out, in fact Harry had come over several times to tell Ron every little detail of Hermione's current projects at the Ministry. Every little thing she said that he had practically fallen over. Honestly, Ron thought it was a phase and that Harry was just a little unbalanced after the end of the war. But now _this_?

Ron looked back down at the paper, praying it had somehow changed and the headline now covered something along the lines of normality, or at least a mad cauldron. Unfortunately, the picture on the front hadn't changed, he still stared down at Harry's beaming face, his arm around Hermione's delicate shoulders and one hand waving at the camera. He felt something in him tighten, that could have been _him_ with his arm around her, could have been him asking for her hand in marriage. But, no. He was a thick git who thought she would never fall for someone else, that she'd always wait for him until he had at last gotten over his fear and made something of that damn kiss back in their seventh year.

There was a knock on his door, it sounded almost as if the person on the other side was regretting every tap they made and wishing that they were somewhere else with every fiber of their being. He gritted his teeth, willing to take his anger out on any bloke dumb enough to take him on. If Ron was lucky it was one of those door-to-door broom salesman he despised so much, what a wonderful thought. With hands clenched and eyes narrowed he walked to the door, each step louder and louder until he was practically stomping.

"This better be good or you're as good as dragon dung-" He opened the door and all at once every last bit of anger fled, leaving him a mess of nerves ready to sink into the floor. Even though he had been expecting this to happen sooner or later he definitely wasn't prepared for it now, what on earth was she thinking? She had to know how he was feeling after the newspaper article. He narrowed his eyes once more, building his anger back up so she couldn't see how much her appearance had affected him. "Hermione, didn't expect to see _you_ here."

"Well actually I wanted to stop by and tell you the news before you found out from the Daily Prophet, unfortunately they're a bit faster then they used to be." She was eying the crumpled newspaper in his hand, he followed her eyes and dropped it to the floor, he hadn't even realized he'd been holding it still. "May I come in?" He watched her for a few more seconds, then grudgingly moved to let her into his apartment. She looked it over briefly and then turned back to him, a wary smile on her pale face. "Lavender isn't here, is she?"

"Lav? Oh..right. No, she's out shopping with Parvati, all she ever wants to do lately." He had completely forgotten about Lavender Brown, on again off again girlfriend since his sixth year at Hogwarts. He really didn't like her all that much to tell the truth, the only reason he kept her around anymore was to make Mum happy. She nodded and it seemed a bit of weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Oh, good. She doesn't seem to like me very much." He shrugged and crossed his arms, once again staring at her with watchful eyes. Hermione didn't seem to notice though, and she sat in the love seat at the far left corner of the living room. "Really Ronald, I was hoping your manners had improved..." He glowered and she looked away, always knowing the right buttons to push, that was one of her gifts. "Well if you're not going to ask, yes, I'd love a cup of tea." The words were so sharp it felt as if he had been slapped. What had happened to the calm twenty-three year old witch that had just walked into his house?

"Of course, anything for the bride to be." If she was going to act like that fine, he could do it to. Ron could feel her eyes burning into his back but he didn't care, no one told her she had to go marry Harry did they? Once in the kitchen he threw a kettle on the oven and started it to boil. One of the things that made so many people laugh at him was the fact that, when angry, he resorted to the muggle way of doing things. Well at least, the muggle things Hermione had taught him. No, no magical tea for Mrs..._Potter_. Several minutes later he entered the living room again, two cups of tea on a tray Lavender had bought for guests at a discount store.

"Thank you." He grunted and sat on a seat directly across from her, his hands clenching as he took in her appearance. She was definitely more beautiful then he remembered, though he had to admit it had been a long time since he'd seen her last. He felt regret pinching his heart, why _had_ he broken off contact with her? After the war they seemed to just split, sure she had dropped by on rare occasions, had even come over for a roast he had tried to make. Rarely though, had she ever come over by herself to talk like they used to back in the day's of Hogwarts.

"Hermione?" She nodded not looking up from the tea he had given her, Ron noticed with a pang of annoyance that she hadn't taken a single sip and it had to be getting cold by now. It was then he realized the noises that were coming from her direction, sounds he knew to be that of someone crying. "'Mione?" He repeated her name, this time more affectionately and she looked up, her warm brown eyes were puffy and he now saw a distinct weariness in them that had never been there before. He had never been good when it came to comforting people and normally he would just sit there uncomfortably until they had finished crying and he could hand them a tissue. This time though, he felt that nothing in the world would make him happier then going over there and holding her until she felt better.

"Ron..." She whispered, and he got up from the chair, and sat in the empty seat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shuddering shoulders. He couldn't help but notice she was quite attractive when she cried. "You're going to think I'm stupid...I know, but I couldn't help it." She cried harder, this time though she set the tea down and covered her face. He shook his head and patted her shoulders and she took a deep breath. "Before you say anything I want you to know I love him, I really do and I would never do anything to hurt him...at least...not intentionally." He nodded, it was better to let her do all the talking.

She began to relax a little, he assumed she finally understood that he wouldn't judge her. Finally, after nearly five minutes, she began to speak again. "When I started dating Harry I thought I loved him, you know, as a boyfriend. I really tried so hard to see him as the one person I could live my life with for as long as it...lasted. I know I shouldn't of, I know I should have told him in the beginning that I wasn't in love with him. It's just I thought he had been hurt enough already and that this would only make it worse." Ron thought that somewhere deep inside of him, the part he hated more then anything, was rejoicing.

"So, you aren't in love with him?" She shook her head and he could have sworn she got just a bit closer to him, but it must have been his imagination. "That's it?" That was the completely wrong thing to say, maybe Ron was one of the most unlucky men in the world for he always had the knack for setting her off like a firecracker.

"Of course that's it Ronald! I'm to be married to a man I don't love and I don't have the heart to tell him! How thick could you possibly be!? I thought you understood, I thought of all the people in the world you'd understand most! After all, you're with Lavender and you have the same problem!" She jumped up and he crossed his arms, his own temper flaring.

"Since when do you know anything about my relationship with her? You barely talk to me anymore! Whens the last time we chatted Hermione? When is the last time you ever came over to just say hello when you're not being dragged here by Harry!? What happened to us, I though we were best friends!? What, after school it's time to just drop Ron because he hasn't saved the world like the great Harry Potter!?"

She stared at him then, her mouth opening and then closing, he could swear as he looked into her eyes something was crumbling within her. Finally she regained her composure. "Well I thought after all these years you'd have figured it out by now." Silence hung in the air as he lost all track of time, did she mean what he thought she meant? She must have, there was no other explanation.

"Hermione I-"

"Ron open up. I hear you in there!" He jumped, Harry must have been knocking and he hadn't even heard it, but that wasn't what bothered him. How much had Harry heard? Hermione looked like someone had just told her every library on the face of the planet had suddenly exploded. Quickly she straightened herself out and sat on the couch, picking up her cup of tea and sipping it as if nothing had happened.

Ron looked at her for a brief moment but she avoided eye contact, what else would she have said if they hadn't been interrupted? What could have happened if there hadn't been someone on the other end of that door?

"Coming, Harry!"


	2. Chapter 2

As Hermione watched Ron's front door open something in the pit of her stomach twisted painfully. The words she had so easily blurted out a few minutes before seemed to be haunting her, lingering in her brain even as she tried to put on her best fake smile. What on earth had she been thinking? Ron would never understand, how could he? Perhaps she should speak with him one more time, tell him that everything she had said was just an awful case of pre-wedding jitters. But the question was, did she really want to do that? 

"Yeah, Hermione was just telling me. Congratulations, mate." He seemed so sincere as he said this that Hermione felt a small part of her crumble. He must have gotten over her a long time ago, after all, it had been six years since that day when they had kissed. How silly of her to believe that a few words could change what another person felt. "Tea, Harry?" Oh of course, he'd offer Harry some tea.

"Actually Harry, my parents called me earlier. They'd like us to visit before we're too busy with the wedding plans. You wouldn't mind if we stopped by another day, would you Ron?" There was something in the air then, something that was so familiar to Hermione that she almost changed her mind. But before she could take it back and say that her parents could wait Ron cleared his throat and smiled.

"'Course not, Lav will probably be home soon anyway. She's not big on people being around after she's gone shopping, George says she's mad." He chuckled and ran a hand through his messy hair. Harry looked at him for a moment and shook his head, laughter in his green eyes.

"Er, well wonderful as that sounds we'll be on our way." Harry pulled Hermione towards him then and hugged her tightly. "See you. Tell Lav-Lav we said hello." Ron shook his head and ushered them out the door.

"Honestly Harry, that was seven years ago."

And with that the door was shut.

* * *

The air in the Burrow was thick with the smell of food cooking, a little congratulations dinner for Harry and Hermione according to Ron's dear old Mum. Not that he wasn't thrilled with the prospect, well actually, that was exactly it. When he first heard of the dinner he had hurriedly compiled a list of several reasons why he would not be able to attend the festivities. A list that was promptly shot down by Mrs. Weasley with the most scolding Ron had received since the howler back in his second year. Honestly, Ron really did hate himself for the way he was acting. The last thing in the world he wanted was for Harry to be upset with him and think he was not happy for the couple. Truly he was, but at the same time jealousy was practically eating him from the inside out.

"You know if you get any redder your face will be mistaken for a raddish." Ginny giggled and sipped her butterbeer as Ron glared at her from across the room. "Really Ron, stop it. I'm not the one you should be angry at. In fact, the only person you can blame for the way you feel right now is yourself. Hermione wasn't going to wait forever, it just took six years for you to finally understand that." Silence filled the room for a few moments before Ron collected enough of his wits to speak.

"What are you going on about Gin?" She sighed and walked over to the couch he had been occupying since he had arrived nearly three hours ago. Before Ron could protest Ginny sat herself down and rested a hand on his knee, giving him a knowing look that caused his face to go an even darker shade of crimson. He just might go redder then any muggle or wizard had ever dared before.

"Ron being your sister I have learned many things in our time together. One, you have this horrid fascination with orange that clashes terribly with your hair color. Two, you've been secretly collecting butterbeer bottles since your seventeenth birthday. Last but not least, you've fancied Hermione Granger since your second year at Hogwarts and even though it's been about eleven years you've never gotten over her." Again that awful silence as Ron was left trying to find a clever response, something to deny any of the things she had uttered.

"It's not like I wear anything orange." Ginny smiled at him and shrugged.

"You used to, and you should know by now that I'm never going to let you live that down." They could hear a sudden explosion of noise as Mrs. Weasley shrieked in excitement. "Well they must have arrived, we'd might as well save them before Mum breaks their poor eardrums." Ron nodded absently and looked away for a minute.

"I messed up Gin, didn't I?" He could feel her stand up and wrap her arms around him from behind.

"Yes, you did Ron. But I suppose you already know that you could fix it. You just need to decide whether it's worth it or not."

* * *

"Oh, this was wonderful Molly!" Hermione exclaimed as she finished taking the rest of the dishes back inside the Burrow. By now everyone had gone over to the field to play a game of Quidditch. After denying an invitation to join the games Hermione had insisted on helping tidy up a bit, explaining that it was the least she could do.

"Thank you dear, only the best for you and Harry." There was a slight pause as Mrs. Weasley raised her wand to quickly clean off a stack of dishes. "Although I always thought...well never mind. It's silly of me to bring it up at a time like this." Hermione watched her curiously as the older woman busied herself among another stack of dishes. It was obvious she was trying to avoid any type of eye contact.

"You always thought what, Molly?" Mrs. Weasley stopped then, finally turning away from her cleaning to look Hermione in the eyes.

"Ron used to talk about you all the time, you know. Oh, and the looks that he'd give you when your back was turned. It warmed my heart to see him so happy. I thought that eventually you'd be a Weasley yourself, dear."

"Oh." As soon as the word escaped Hermione's mouth she felt a sudden awkwardness that made any other form of communication impossible. It was a silly thing. Her a Weasley, who would ever imagine such an absolutely insane idea. After all, it's not like she had dreamed about it from time to time. Never imagined what she would wear, what the kiss would be like, or the smile that would be reserved just for her after they were properly married.

Such a silly, silly thing.

"Hermione are you alright?" Mrs. Weasley's voice was filled with such motherly concern that Hermione wanted to cry. She wanted to scream at her, tell her there was no reason to be worried about someone like Miss Granger. No reason to be so kind to someone that was so ready to marry a man she didn't love.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I'm just a bit overwhelmed I suppose. I think it's best that I go upstairs now. Would you mind telling Harry that I was ill?" There was something like understanding in Mrs. Weasley's eyes and she smiled kindly.

"Of course, but don't worry about them, they won't be back for a few hours at least. You know how those Quidditch games are." Hermione nodded absently and turned towards the stairs and tried hard to control her emotions for at least a few more minutes. Before her foot landed on the first step Mrs. Weasley called after her one last time. "You know dear, I was your age once and if there's one thing I learned it's that you can't please everyone. No matter how hard you try someone will end up hurt. Just remember that you deserve some happiness too."

Happiness. Such a silly, silly thing.


End file.
